Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Be Uplifting- Just do it :)

So, today was a long day.  I live at a level of stress every day of my life that could kill a normal person.  Which is fine. I am a tough girl, I've got this.  But, today at swim school I ran into another Mom in the bathroom.  Now, when I said this in front of Bit, telling Josh this story, Bit reminded me that I needed to "watch where I was going."  So, for those of you that are as literal as a 6 year old, I really didn't run into her. 

She and I started talking the usual swim mom stuff and she was asking me about adoption, Biscuit, Bit, just a lot of family stuff. Now, when I get to talking about my family, I can make anyone laugh out loud.  My kids are a CRAZY, HOT MESS. They are mine and I love them. I can say that, right??

Finally, she looks at me and tears well up in her eyes. She shares with me something that humbled me.  She said, "I really think you are a special person."  Obviously, I provided her with a triple take. Of course, I smiled and said, "Thanks, you are so sweet."  She went on to talk to me about the first time we met. She told me that the day we met, was the first time she had smiled in four days and by the time she was done talking with me she was LAUGHING OUT LOUD.  She explained that the day we talked she had a miscarriage.  Four days prior to that, they had lost the baby's heartbeat.  She said that she drug herself out of bed that day and was just so thankful that she saw me in the lobby.  WOW!! 

The point to all of this isn't to tell you that I am a great person.  Trust me, I make my mistakes. They are abundant.  But, I want people to understand the power of uplifting a person. This can be as simple as a smile to the person that hands you your Starbucks in the morning, or speaking to another mom in the swim school lobby because she is new and doesn't seem to know what is going on yet.  As a human being, your crystal ball... well, it doesn't exist.  None of us know what is going on in another person's life.  But, if you stop being so wrapped up in yourself for just five minutes a day, you may say or do something that changes someone forever.  When you uplift a person, sometimes it comes full circle.... like I said, today was a long, hard day. Today, that Mommy. She uplifted me. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

"Because it is my week to be special."

"Because it is my week to be special."  These were the words that I helped my sweet Bit write as he filled out his Star of the Week poster for school, and the words that made me want to break down and cry right there in front of my 6 year old.   Many of you wonder, "Why would that make you cry, Tonya? Get a grip."  Trust me, I have a grip.  I have a firm grip.

I have a grip that tells me that any minute now our life- the one that looks perfect on the outside could all come tumbling down and there is nothing I can do about it.  Josh and I have looked at each other SEVERAL times in PICU, sitting there praying that Biscuit can keep up the good fight and in our hearts, we were the most worried about Bit.  The words, " Because it is my week to be special," may as well have been a brick to my face saying, "Does he know how SPECIAL he really is???" 

At that moment, I told him he was special ALL of the time. Not just this week.  I mean, we are talking about a little boy that selflessly shared his life and all of his belongings with a new little life and ONLY had 2 hours...TWO to get used to the idea!!  Most of us take more time than that to get used to the idea that we are going to get a new CAR, not a new BROTHER. On January 19th, 2010, life as he knew it changed.  He went from being the center of our world to the healthy one.  The one that we didn't have to worry about because, "we knew he would be ok."  But, is he ok???  God- please, please tell me that this didn't send him into years on therapy when he is in his 20s...PLEASE. 

People see the relationship that I have with Bit and think I am a "helicopter mom."  Helicopter because I hover.  What they don't see is me letting Bit go in the lobby of Vanderbilt as I tell him that I will be home as soon as Biscuit gets better and to be a good boy for which ever family member has agreed to take over parenting until I get back home.  They don't see the tears well up in his eyes...they don't see me cry all the way back up the the PICU in the elevator and pull myself together before I push the "magic button" to go back, sit in PICU and pray that BOTH my babies will know just how Special they actually are.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Never and I mean NEVER name your child a verb!

Chase: Verb- Pursue in order to catch or catch up with. That pretty much sums up our life.  Our littlest honey man was adopted.  So, he kind of came prenamed... kind of.  We had to pick the least horrible part of his birth name to give us something to work with until the judge signed on the dotted line. So, we ended up with Chase.  Well, let. me. tell. you.... that little boy, makes us do just that. ALL. DAY. LONG!

Some days, we are so exhausted we can't even see straight. I mean, for a kid that was never supposed to be able to sit up. I'd say he proved them WRONG.... like, a lot! I am surprised, he doesn't think his name is NO, DON'T, STOP!!!  Granted, he is doing some sensory seeking.  His poor little body has NO idea where he is in space... for all of you not so puny baby mamas- his vestibular sense is all messed up. Google it. Anyway, we will soon be on the search for a great OT that isn't a million miles away.  I'll let you know how that goes.  New thearpists can be well... interesting to say the least. The very least.

But, for now, it is my public service announcement to you. Don't EVER name your kid a verb. It is just a bad idea.